Predictions: From Here To April

-Miami at Buffalo, JP Losman at QB, someone other than Jake Long at left tackle? Let the collapse begin.  Buffalo 27 Miami 6
-New England at Miami, New England shows a little mercy. New England 42 Miami 6
-NY Jets at Miami, Vonte Davis picks off a Sanchez pass and returns it for a TD! Unfortunately it's the only score the Dolphins can muster. NY Jets 20 Miami 7.
-Owner Stephen Ross announces that former Kansas City Chiefs CEO and GM Carl Peterson is hired as his new football czar. Never mind that Peterson ran the Chiefs into the ground. Peterson is Ross's buddy.
-Peterson and current GM Clueless Jeff Ireland decide that relic Marty Schottenheimer is the best man for the head coaching job, mainly because nobody else wants it. Schottenheimer just won a championship in the UFL, whatever the hell that is.
-Ross announces that Ringling Brothers will perform at all halftime shows at Sun Life stadium during the 2012 season. It's fitting since this is already a three ring circus.
-Payton Manning becomes a free agent. Ross offers to back a semi-load of cash up to his back door and to give him part ownership when he retires to come play for the Dolphins. Manning declines, saying he wants to play for a real NFL team.
-Finally we get to draft day. The Dolphins 4-12 record has afforded them the 5th pick. Andrew Luck and Matt Barkley are off the board when the Phins turn comes up, but Robert Griffin III is there, staring them in the face. A glance into the Dolphins war room shows a smiling Jeff Ireland on the phone, giving a thumbs up. Gleeful Dolphin fans think THIS IS IT! We got RGIII! Roger Goodell walks up to the podium and announces that the Dolphins have...traded the pick to NFC Chmapionship runner up San Francisco! Ireland later says he traded down for San Fran's 28th pick in the 1st round and their 2nd round pick because there are lots of quality players later in the draft. The Dolphins use that 28th pick on a guard to bolster the offensive line.

Comments