Hello fellow Dolphins fans, on this Friday the 13th and in honor of all things spooky, lets talk about some scary realities.
First and foremost, the signing of Ndamukong Suh - he is scary good. This guy is an absolute nightmare to opposing QB's and in general anyone who has the ball. I cannot wait to see what affect he has on other players on defense; first double team he gets I fully expect Oliver Vernon, or Wake to directly benefit. Our opposing QB’s are going to be on the receiving end of what is now being called the “Natural Disaster” referring to Cam-“earthWake” and Ndamukong Tsuhnami, a little puny, but I think I like it. Speaking of receiving, my chops are salivating while we wait to see a particular Patriot, maybe named Tom Brady, on the receiving end of a Suh sack. I don't know what kind of whiskey I will have for their first meeting - but I guarantee it's going to be tasty whiskey. I would gladly trade in my next birthday present for a guaranteed Tom Brady 6-pack-of-sacks by our defense in a very lopsided win over the reining super bowl champ-cheaters.
Second scary reality on this Friday – Jeff Ireland. I don’t know who is paying his salary now, but I’m sure as hell happy its not Mr.Ross. This guy was responsible for such busts as Chad Henne, Pat White – thank god he lived, and the fan favorite, Mr.Thick-Head himself - Michael Egnew. That short little shit Ireland actually asked Dez Bryant if his mom was a prostitute, years later called a fan an asshole for asking Ireland to fire himself – I wish he would have obliged. It’s scary how mediocre his stent in Miami was; it’s scary how happy I am now that he’s gone. In his second free agency with the fins, my boy Dennis Hickey is really making his impact felt. This guy is so far 8-10 with major signings. Give that guy a beer on the Greek tab. Do you know who else deserves a gold star on this Friday? Dawn Aponte. This chick is a salary cap negotiation ninja. After looking at the numbers on Suh’s contract I’m very impressed. I concede – she is going to have to work her ninja skills again next season, and the following, and the following….but I trust her. I don’t want to sound like I have the win-now mentality but I will say, and keeping in mind all the moves around the league, I think we can contend with anyone assuming we draft as strong.
Lastly on this Spooky Friday, lets talk about how scary good our offense could be next year. The addition of Jordan Cameron not only made my wife very happy - he’s her NFL boyfriend, - but I’m glowingly optimistic as well. Everyone knows that injuries in the NFL are more of a case of when rather than if. I really hope his bad luck with concussions is behind him. I will personally deliver flowers to Aponte if she can figure a way to cook the books till extra crispy and keep big play Clay. This guy is a beast. Clay and Cameron as book ends on the line not only offers great run support but also great targets in the play action and triple option game. You also can’t sleep on Dion Sims either; he’s a developing threat. I can’t talk enough about Juice Landry. This kid is a spark plug – he can energize everyone around him with his production and positive attitude, I love it. I wish Mike Wallace would take page from Juices book and be more of a team player – but that topic I’m reserving for a future post.
Happy Friday the 13th, hope you all have a spooky evening.
As with all NFL rosters, change is the only guaranteed thing. With that change takes away the man, the drive thru owner, gas station entrepreneur, Meowgatron, my dawg Brian Hartline. I know last season was not your best, and I wish you luck with the Brownies. I will go by your drive thru on the east side of Columbus Ohio at least once a year – I promise.